Drafty Restaurant bus

Listen, I know it's a temperate climate. I realize that 300 days of the year you need neither air conditioning nor heating to sit and eat comfortably in any of the eateries around. But on those other 70 days (fuck you, bus, I know how many goddamn days there are), you need to think about your customer and say, "I've got your back." Cool them off when it's hot and pump in some heat when it's cold. Do you hear me?

And here is the most important thing, and your life depends upon this, bus, so look at me and take heed. A fan? An open window or door? All fine when it's warm out. But if you touch that goddamn door or prop open that fucking window when it's cold outside, I will carve you open and tauntaun your ass. Do you understand? That ice cold breeze shooting up my spine is not refreshing. I came into your establishment to get out of the cold. I do not want to shiver uncontrollably at the table. Oh, so the cooks and waiters are warm from the kitchen and want to cool off? Guess what? You pay them. I pay you. Fuck them, and fuck you, bus. Close the fucking door. Isn't the customer always right? Be a man, bus! Coward! Bastard! Coward!